You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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