i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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