He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
