they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
