i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
