She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He shit in the fireplace
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
