Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize