What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
