as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
