I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
