direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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