Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
