I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
