Just cropdusted the office
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
