all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
