Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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