bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize