ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
this just has baby written all over it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
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I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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