I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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