Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
