i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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