She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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