Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
