I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize