What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
