Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Sponge bath it is.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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