so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
