You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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