are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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