Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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