I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
