I wish I could teleport
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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