no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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