After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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