he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
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You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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