Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
