just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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