As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
