So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
