I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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