every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
