Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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