Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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