I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
