We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.