How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.