All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize