Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
