After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
