its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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