thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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