He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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