Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Couch. On fire.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize