her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
