margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
