Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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