Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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