Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
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