So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
