I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
