i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
